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Thursday, January 20, 2011

#4 Elevator Signs

When people pay late, you have to knock on their door and tape up a 3-Day Notice, which means they have to pay in three days or they will be sent to eviction.  It's a shitty legal aspect to my job that I can go to court for if I don't do it correctly.  It's also super time consuming, and generally irritating. 

In my first month, I had to knock on a lot of people's doors asking them why they haven't paid rent and to give them their notice.  The majority of what they had to say was "I forgot."  That excuse is stupid because everyone knows that rent is due on the first everywhere, during your entire life as a renter. 

The second month here, when rent was due, I decided to post a notice as a reminder to pay their goddamn rent.  We have three elevators, and I put one sign in each elevator.  I didn't want to sound like I'm nagging them or make it seem too corporate, so I decided to make a sign that was more of a friendly reminder.  See, I'm not a total asshole. Yet, I still do this for my benefit, so I don't have to go knocking on a bunch of doors.

This was my first one:

People seemed to get a kick out of it, and it sort of worked.  I had less people to give notices to.  The head office bitched about the beer reference, as they didn't want to promote a 'frat house' vibe to the building.  Understandable.  The next month, I changed it to this:

People are assholes.  They will just rip down my signs.  There's the occasional penis drawn on there, which I find amusing, but I know it's inappropriate. I'll take those down and replace it with a fresh one.  It's when people just fucking rip the shit down is what annoys the fuck out of me.  I take my time to make these clever-ass signs, and you just reject it by ripping it down.  I print extras because I know this will happen.

The next month, I figured that the last two template of sign was too wordy for the average ride up the elevator.  I shortened it to this:
I get pretty good feedback from these signs.  I've even been told people look forward to them.  One of my tenants posts the signs on his facebook page, and tells me there are many adoring comments.  The irony is, this dude pays late all the time.  The whole point of this shit is to remind you to pay your rent, so I don't have to take the extra step and knock on your door.  It's not to just amuse you assholes.  It's to benefit me, so I can do less work.
Fuck.

5 comments:

alphaabetsoup said...

love it. but i want to know what you eat [or where you shop?] for $150 on a month's groceries. i do that much damage in produce alone :)

darkko said...

nice!

seth said...

My money's on Joeley drawing the dicks. He drew on a sign of mine one time.

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