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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

#27 I Love Lesbian Couples

And no, I don't mean that in an ignorant straight guy way.  Lesbian couples are THE BEST tenants, and this is solely based on my statistics of annoyances.
Here's the rundown of the types of babies that live here (and I'm guessing...everywhere):
  • Single Men
  • Single Women (including Single Moms)
  • Young Straight Couples
  • Married Straight Couples (with or without children)
  • Gay Men Couples
  • Lesbian Women Couples
  • Girl Roommates
  • Boy Roommates
  • Mixed Gender Platonic Roommates
  • Fashion Students
There are many other categories within each category, but let's not get in that.  It would be too long, and I'll probably get angry having to think about these babies. 
Each and every single one of these categories has given me issues in one way or another with the exception of Monogamous Lesbian Couples.
These women always pay their rent on time, never call me with stupid bullshit, usually have the coolest units, don't cause noise disturbances, are very cordial to me in the halls, etc. The only issue I've ever had was when the cops were called because there was some domestic dispute, but I didn't have to get involved, so I don't give a shit.   There is even a couple that lives down the hall that I really want to be friends with because they look really cool, and seem to have interesting lives with a diverse group of friends.  I want to be a part of this clique.  I imagine it's like living in a Benetton world. I kind of wish we could only lease to lesbian couples, but (I guess) that's discriminatory.

Although, if my building became an all-female, anti-men utopia, then this blog wouldn't exist because I wouldn't have to face any of the issues that makes this place a goddamn nightmare.
The ideal lesbian couple

2 comments:

Phero Klendathu said...

You've never met the lesbian that is my wife's "best friend". Does not pay bills on time, is not fashionable, does not have a cool apartment interior, and is generally always drunk.

Mapple said...

Hence I specifically talked about lesbian couples, not single women, straight or gay.

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