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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

#25 More Elevator Signs

Here are some more elevator signs I recently posted to remind these assholes to pay rent.  (Note: there are sports references in this one. Just go with it.)

 I was feeling really uninspired, so I just recycled my most popular sign from the holidays.  It's been five months.  They're ready to see it again.  Plus, lots of new people have moved in since then, and they never got the pleasure of reading this sign, so...it's for them.  That's how I justify it. 
It says "Clip Art is Fun" under the picture, if you can't read that
I just felt like insulting them in the nicest way.  Did you get that?  What I really wanted to put was,"If you pay late, you are a huge pain in my ass, and I fucking hate you." That's too vague, huh?
It was also the NBA Finals, so I had to represent in the corner.
Some asshole baby saw me in my Mavs shirt and said, "so how long have you been a fake Mavs fan?...I don't know why everyone is hatin' on LeBron...We mingle in the same circles..."
  1. Fake Mavs fan?  Fuck you.  Like I'm some bandwagon fan that just liked the Mavs because I hate Lebron.  Like I just went out and bought this shirt.  As if I can even purchase a vintage green Dirk shirt in the streets of LA.  Unless the Dallas Mavericks are called the Los Angeles Lakers, you can't buy a fucking Mavs shirt when you live a few blocks from the Staples Center. 
  2. "Mingle in the same circles"...oh, cool.  The guy that said this to me is an actor. He is most known for his work in a recent remake of a John Waters musical where John Travolta is a tranny.  (He's actually very nice, but fuck him for the sake of this isolated argument.)  Okay, so you're friends with people that are friends with LeBron.  I don't give a shit, because...
  3. I hate LeBron James.  Although, I do want to enroll in his School for Flopping (Zing!). 
There are a lot of people in the film industry that live in my building, so this was like a wink and nod to them.  I wrote this in the way a script is written out (from what I've read of scripts).  You can't see it as well, but the baby's lines are highlighted.
I was really looking forward to acting this out in the elevator with someone.  I did once, and it so happened to be another actor.
Now that I've heard it acted out, it's not very good.  Imagine if this was actual dialogue in a TV show.  I might as well be writing for this season's True Blood.  (Double Zing!  I'll be here all night. Tip your waitresses, everybody.)

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Elevator sign posts are like clip shows!
This series can't move further if you just keep rehashing the tired elevator signs...We need stories of alley shitting hobos, idiots and the myriad of prostitutes.

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