Tuesday, May 1, 2012

#48 Pigeon VII - Dog Threats

Let's check in on our favorite, and by favorite, I  mean the tenant that I would attack first in the Hunger Games (the TIE fighter I would destroy first...the gollum I would throw in the pit of Mordor...the first Horcrux I would stab with a serpent fang...which ever reference is relevant to you), Pigeon

I got an email from another tenant that went like this:

I don't know her name, but you'll know who I am talking about.  The single woman with the young boy who has, since I've been here, had a reputation of being a little abusive with her son . I think she lives on the middle floors.

Anyway, I just had a run in with her outside because her son got caught up in [my dog's] leash and she levied some threats on me on what would happen if it occurred again. I'm a polite guy when there's reason to extend that privilege, as I feel I am equally as appropriate when it's not warranted and I handled the situation outside as I saw fit.  I just want you to know about it in case something else comes of this, although I'm pretty sure it won't.
As always, I don't want any trouble, I just want to live here lol.

Oh, when people "lol" when they, in reality, are not 'LOL'ing, but rather typing it to diffuse an uncomfortable situation.  I typed him back, telling him to not worry.  She is all bark, no bite. 

The next month, I get this email from the same guy.
Subject line: Update
Not wanting to make too big a deal about this, just making sure there is a history of documentation behind it. The young lady we discussed recently, the single mom with a chip on her shoulder - you know who I am referring to... told her side of the story of the issue she and I had outside s couple of weeks ago to the guard on duty today (the nice younger guy with the mustache) and supposedly went into detail about what she was 'about to do to my dog', in inference to hurting him if he ever gets caught up in her son's feet again. I don't know what was said exactly, but I do know that the guard warned her if she did it she would go to jail. I've asked the guard to document that conversation in his log.

 I'm sure that you and I are in accord that we will not stand for [my dog] being harmed.
I feel bad for this guy, and I like this dog a lot.  It's really cute.  It looks like this:
So crazy ass Pigeon is still threatening people for the most menial things.  It looks like she went off on this dude because her monster of a child decides to get tangled up in a dog leash. She then...brags about hurting a dog?  She's a nut job, my friends.  

She called me the other day, and I spent 23 minutes on the phone with her trying to convince her to move to a different building.  She said she found a place that she likes, but she doesn't like that they don't have 24-hour security.
"Mapple!  I need 24-hour security.  I got friends that always be comin' up, wanting to kick it.  Sometimes I don't want that.  Security needs to stop them.  Plus, I'm like a celebrity.  I've been in like nine or ten movies."
"Just don't tell people where you live."
"Yeah, I guess I could."

Like a celebrity?  Nine or ten movies?  Did she keep her clothes on in them?  How does she lose count?  She's so delusional.  
I spent that much time on the phone with her trying to convince her to move, and I thought I did.  A few hours later, I get a text, "Mapple, can I sign another year lease?  I'm gonna need time to figure shit out. Can I also use the basement to teach a Hip-hop dance class?"

Goddamn it.  GODFUCKINGDAMN IT!!!!
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