Monday, March 7, 2011

#11 Joseph in 603

In my first few days at this stupid fucking job, the old manager warned me of Joseph in 603. 
"He thinks he can just pay rent whenever he wants! I hate him!"

The next month rolls around, and I have to serve a 3-Day Notice to Joseph in 603 because he hasn't paid his rent yet. 
Allow me to set up an image of Joseph in 603.  He is, say 45, curly hair, bad skin, long nails, kind of thin, always wears denim.  I like to imagine him as one of those trannies that the moment you look at them, you wince, because they look nothing like women, but rather, just some dude in a wig awkwardly walking in heels.  This is Joseph in 603.  (he also owns a really cute dog, like a dog too cute to have an owner like this. I am also not saying he's a drag queen, I'm just saying I imagine him as one)

*knock knock*
Me: "Hey, your rent is due"
Joseph in 603: "YOU KNOW WHAT?  I got somethin' to tell you.  I find you disappointing as a resident manager.  It seems like you only care what the company wants, and you don't care about us as residents."
 *long pause so I can process why he's yelling at me*
Me:  "ALRIGHT, JOSEPH IN 603.  I find YOU disappointing as a resident for not paying your rent on time.  I'm just trying to get a hang of this job, so lay off.  The last resident manager warned me about you.  Just pay your rent.  Now you owe a late fee.  Here's your 3-Day Notice!"

Joseph in 603 then gives me this look, like he was not expecting me to bitch back.  He takes the notice, and slowly slinks back into his place, and closes the door as I stare at him. 

I guess that earned his respect, because a few weeks after that, he hands me a popover.
"I just made these.  Here's one for you."
At this point, I still hate him.  I smiled and walked away, then trashed it fearing it may be poisoned. 

He now chit-chats with me in the halls, and calls and texts me for cooking advice.
"Hey Mapple, how long to I put a 6lb chicken in the oven"
"Hey, sorry to bother you, you told me earlier to use parchment paper, where do I get that?"
"Can I still use wine to cook with if I opened it up 2 months ago and it's been in the fridge?"
I don't know how he knows that I can cook, or why he's asking me questions he can easily look up online, but that's neither here nor there.

He now pays his rent on time.  I guess he realized that he can't be a dick to me, so now he's killing me with kindness?
I no longer hate Joseph in 603.

Not Joseph in 603, but you get my gist


Whitney said...

you can cook?

Ape said...

Way to go bitching back!

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