Thursday, August 16, 2012

#52 Do This, Don't Do That, Can't Your Read The Sign?

As I've mentioned before, people tend to just throw shit out of their windows.  I wouldn't bitch at anyone about it if all the units were street facing, but alas, this building has an enclosed interior courtyard.  It sucks to live in the interior.  You barely get any sunlight and no view.  If someone's window is open, you can hear any shitty song or movie they have on or if they're having a party, and you can't tell which window it's coming from because it bounces off walls and echos throughout.  It most definitely sucks ass.  I'm really glad I don't live in the interior.
The first three floors in the interior have patios.  You know, to enjoy the 'outside'.  Other assholes usually toss down cigarettes and beer cans down the courtyard, landing onto one of these patios.
I get a visit from one of these babies, and they wanted me to come to their unit to see what has landed on their patio. I get to the patio, and there are egg shells, cigarette butts, and a DVD for Slap Shot 2: Breaking The Ice  starring the most talented of the Baldwins...Stephen.
Someone loved this movie so much, they threw it out the window for another tenant to enjoy.
So it looks like I'm doing something for this guy, I decide to put up another sign about not throwing things out of windows:
This was fun because I got to use a prop. The price sticker in case you can't read it: $3.00. 
It was up for a day, and then, of course, people that believe they are as witty and hilarious as I am write on it. "This movie is awesome." "My fave" "Who would throw this out?" Then someone eventually takes the DVD, leaving the case.  If you're going to steal it, steal the whole thing.  I think they understood, however, that without the case, the joke would be lost, so...thanks, idiot.
I've never actually purchased an ashtray for anyone, nor would I.  People continue to toss shit out of their window. There's no stopping it. 
Our patio furniture at the rooftop pool looks like shit.  The cushions for the seats are ripped to shreds from years of use.  I get complaints about it all the time.  Our cheapass boss refuses to pay for new upholstery. As the middle man, I can only report on how bad it is.  If I could buy new patio cushions, I would in a heartbeat.  It's embarrassing up there. 
One evening, I find this in all three elevators:
I understand everything this bitch is saying, as I would be mad too.  Although, if this baby is trying to mock my style of elevator notes, they are doing it all wrong.
Why does she (I'd only assume such a turdy little note would come from a girl) mention "Sunny California" so much?  Get to the point, bitch. Your overuse of frivolous adjectives is straying from the idea you're trying to convey.
Oh, and thanks for the home patio furniture sale print out. Let's get that for hundreds of assholes to use and see how long that shit lasts. 
I'm only annoyed by this because it was directed towards me.  If I were to leave a rebuttal sign, it would go a little something like this:

Hey Passive Aggressive Tenant!!!!!!!!

Don't bitch at me.  Call the main office and be a cunt to them.

<3: Your building manager who thinks you suck

And finally, holy shit. A bird shat on my car.  It shit-handled me!
It comes full circle. 


Tara said...

Always pumped when I see you've posted a new rant. You are the shiz. Sorry about the poop on your car handle. Guess it does come full circle.

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