Monday, June 13, 2011

#21 Non-Adventures (Annoyances) in Babysitting

This job sucks so much ass, that I can't even find the humor in it anymore.  It literally sucks the fucking life out of me where I feel numb, and anyone that's ever had a job they hated, you know what I'm talking about.  This post is a little disjointed, but these are all recent annoyances.

It was the beginning of the month, and the FIRST IS THE WORST.  It's the time where I have to deal with all the babies that moved out and assessing their units, and charging them, to which they get mad when I charge them.  What the fuck do you expect when you leave your place like a shit hole?
The first is also the time when I have to deal with counting, what seems like, thousands of checks.  Roommates are the worst when it comes to this because they give me multiple checks at different times.
For example, I have these babies that live in a tiny two bedroom, there's four of them, they are all students.  This is what their checks look like:

$422.25?  I don't even know how they came to figure this out amongst themselves.  I have to take the extra step of using a calculator.  Now the idea of simple arithmetic annoys me .  Go live in a fucking dorm.  Plus, I think they're trying to pull a fast one and short me a quarter.  That'll teach me. 
But really, who wouldn't want to use those Hello Kitty checks?
Babies have also taken it upon themselves to throw shit out of their windows.  The building is shaped like a rectangle, and half of the units' windows face the interior, which is a view of their neighbor across the courtyard.  They've taken the liberty to act like it's Ancient Rome and just throw shit out of their windows into the patios of the people that live in the interior court.  It's mainly hundreds of cigarettes, but the list also includes drum sticks, tax documents, beer cans, someone's cat (granted, this cat probably leapt to it's death, but for the sake of this story, I'm going to saying someone threw a dead cat out a window).  Many a baby has bitched to me about not wanting to clean someone else's mess, and that I need to do it. (Fuck you, you entitled assholes) To which I just post a sign about how you shouldn't throw things out of your window.  I have to actually tell these motherfuckers to not litter.

Speaking of cats, the high class hooker move out.  She got 'laid off', which...using that wording, is very confusing.  How does one lose their job as a prostitute?  Does she get a severance?  I guess the opposite for her job is to get 'laid on'? Anyway, she left her place really clean, but it reeks of cat.  Ugh...cats.


Rick said...

Um. Any three people want to move into a tiny two-bedroom apartment? Shit's cheap!

Anonymous said...

Please tell me they got a $150 late fee for the .25 missing from the rent...

Rabbit said...

Californians are stupid.

Anonymous said...

That ain't pussy CAT you're smellin' in the hooker's former abode...

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