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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

#22 Shit

Well THIS just happened.

On Tuesdays, the resident manager next door has her day off, so I take her phone.  One of her babies calls me at 7:45pm to let her in because she got locked out.  She agreed to pay, so I get my keys and head to the sister building next door.

On my way out of my alley door, I see a homeless zombie with his pants down squatting against the trash room door, and just before I could say anything, he had a projectile shit on the door.
I am incredulous.
"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? WHY WOULD YOU JUST SHIT ON A BUILDING?  CAN'T YOU FIND A TREE?  WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?...."
It goes on, and all the while, he continues to shit his runny ass shit as it's hitting my building's trash room door and falling to the ground.  He was saying something to me in Spanish as a response or a rebuttal, but I couldn't understand him, so I just continued to berate him.
"GODDAMN IT.  GO AWAY.  WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE THIS BUILDING? WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?  I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.  WHY ARE YOU STILL GOING?  STOP SHITTING!  I HATE YOU!"

I then run into the lobby to see if Naseem the security guard sees him on the camera and his response is,
"Oh, that happens all the time.  I just take a bucket and wash it away.  It's usually women homeless that do that against the building..."  He's so casual about it.

I walk back into the alley to go into the other building to let the next door baby in, and I see the remains of my interaction with the homeless man.  This image is now ingrained into my brain.  I thought about taking a picture for you guys, but I don't want to subject you to it.
I have ideas in my head about what I could have done to keep him from shitting, like push him over while he was in that position.  Then again, I would have probably caught a glimpse of his dirty homeless ass AS he was shitting and falling over, so maybe it was a good thing I didn't do that.

After I let the baby next door into her unit, I am still shocked and grossed out.  I head back out through the alley and Naseem has already rinsed it away.  It's not even his job, but he does it.  I go to his security desk to ask him how he did it so quickly, and when I get there, I see he's watching the security footage of me yelling at the homeless guy for entertainment.

I'm so disturbed.
I took this  picture with my camera phone of the security camera screen, so it's not the best quality, but you get the idea.  It looks like I'm trying to reason with him, but I didn't want to get too close to him.  I felt like I was right in front of his face, though.

9 comments:

Phero Klendathu said...

I want to see that footage, too!

Mapple said...

The footage was me yelling, moving to another place, stopping, yelling, pacing, stop, yelling, and the walking away in a huff. It's actually pretty hilarious. I'm going to try to find a still and post it up

Anonymous said...

GTFO, he told me to wait and watch the footage with him, but I declined the chance to watch a homeless man shitting while you berate him. Let that be a life lesson!

Anonymous said...

Please use this photo as your Christmas card!

jackcasablancas said...

genius. I sympathize & enjoy these posts very much. this trash is definitely a treasure. thank you.

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