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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

#37 Parents

The majority of the babies that dwell in my building are modern, working adults ages 25-40.  I have a very low percentage of students that live here, but with the noise issues, parties and general mess they make, it would seem like I run a dorm.
I have three sets of Greek roommates (not fraternity Greeks, like phyllo-feta-European-debt-crisis Greek) that go to USC.  I get complaints from their neighbors below saying they jump rope at 3AM.
Mostly, though, I have FIDM girls.  FIDM is The Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising.  It is a few blocks away.  Since it's only kind of a real university, they don't have dorms.  Some of them come to my building, where they'll jam four of themselves into a tiny two-bedroom.  All of the time, mommy and daddy take care of the bill.
Since the parents handle the money, I have to deal with the parents on various occasions:
  • A mother walks in my office "I just moved my daughter into #210, and I have a few concerns to address before I fly back to Georgia. Is there a vent for the air conditioner or is it just going to blow down on her bed, because she gets very cold.  Can the lights in front of the building be brighter? Why does she only have hot water but no cold water?"
    "I understand your concern.  Since this is a loft building and the central A/C isn't build in the walls, the air just blows, she can get her own vent if she wants to install it.  The light issue is not with the building, it's with the city. For some reason, that unit only gets hot water.  We will work on it."
    She left with the most defeated and disappointed look on her Paula Deen-esque face. Sorry, lady.
  • A girl's parents paid for her rent six months in advance.  This girl has this crappy, burnout boyfriend that is clearly just mooching off her.  Since he lives for free, he has to pay for parking, which is $150 each month.  I get a voicemail from this guy's mom: "Hello, I'm Alex's mom, and my son needs to pay for parking.  I will pay for this month, so can you please tell me how much money I should put in his account?  Text me back, as I get bad reception here in Vegas." I text her back about how much he owes.  I get a text back that says "I am puttng money in your accnt this month, for the rest of the time, young man, I do NOT want to hear about the consequnces if you get towed. Do you umberstand me? Learn to be responsible.Then..."I apologize for that.  That was to go to my son, not to you. I'm very sorry." The mom-tone still comes across in text form.
  • "Hello, I'm Sarah's mom. I need to pay for parking underground for my daughter because downtown is just so unsafe."
    "Well, that's $200 a month for garage parking."
    "How can I get her to break her lease?  I just don't want her living downtown.  We're from Scottsdale, Arizona and she's not used to the danger. I bought her pepper spray."
    Not used to danger?  Suburban moms are so scared of the city and driving on freeways. 
  • "Hi, I'm Jillian's dad.  My daughter got beat up by a homeless person in the street and now she doesn't want to live downtown anymore, and she's going to finish her school at FIDM in San Francisco."
    "What happened to her, is she okay?"
    "She's fine.  A homeless woman thought Jillian said something to her, and she pushed her and then started hitting her.  Anyway, I want to pay for her part of the rent for the rest of the time, as her roommates are still going to stay in the unit.

    Okay...so this is valid, I guess.  How weak is Jillian, though? Homeless zombie females are not strong.  They are usually cracked out, super skinny and frail.   I'm kind of amazed that no one did anything, however, no one wants to actually touch a zombie.  Although, I think the story is exaggerated, as the zombie probably didn't beat her up, but maybe weakly slapped her a few times and it took poor Jillian by surprise.  It's probably the closest thing to a fight she's ever been in. 
Basically, parents are freaked out that their 19-year old daughter would live in downtown LA, but they aren't concerned about spending a stupid amount of money on a trade school, where their daughters will face a sad future of only knowing the world of fashion, and having no other discernible skills in life?  Okay, mom and dad. Get your priorities straight.

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