#35 Lost and Found

From time to time, I get people that lose jewelry, wallets and cell phones in common areas like the hallway, pool, or gym.  People will either steal it, give it to security or give it to me.  I had a few lost phones that no one ever claimed, so after a few months I sent them off for phone recycling.  I decided to keep one of the microSD cards, because I knew I was going to need one when I upgraded my phone.  It keeps me from  doing the additional task of going and getting one.

This microSD card has been in my desk for four months, and I finally got myself a phone that needed one of these things.  I insert it into my phone, and yea! I can take pictures and store music on my phone.  Happy day.

Oh...what's this?  There's already data on this microSD card. Of course there is.  It did belong to someone prior.  Why whatever could it be?  Let's look at the photos.  Oh, I recognize this guy.  He's one of my tenants.  Boring.  Let me delete these to save some space, but wait, what's this?:

 

Oh, a picture of his cat and his girlfriend.  Precious. 

 Woah.  Alright body.  What's up?

 Hey, a kitty cat.  Adorable.

 Dick.

 Just me and my grandma.

 Dick.

Dick.

Doggie.

It just goes on and on with more pictures of him shirtless, pets, girlfriends, family members and his member.  Why SO many photos of your penis?  After you send it, you delete that shit, right?  

I kind of hate this tenant, too, because  he and his roommates decided they wanted to be ballers and get one of the most expensive units in my building.  Little did they know, their lavish lifestyle of being waiters isn't always steady.  They never get their full rent in on time.  

The other day, I pass him going into the elevator as he walks out the elevator.  He said, 

"Oh, hey, I'm going to get you rent today, for sure.  You know, it's always in cash, so I have to deposit my tips into the bank."

"Sure thing, dude."

*elevator doors close*

"I know what your penis looks like."

I was, of course, alone.  

Oh my god, how weird would it be if someone were in there when I said that.  I guess it's as weird as having pictures of your tenant's junk on your phone.